If you weren’t aware, today is the Marine Corps Birthday. I wrote this post while my husband was still in the Corps and I would teach other spouses about the life! If you ever wondered what it is like to be with a Marine, this is for you.
1. They will be gone a lot
2. Duty is a 4 letter word.
3. Possible work hours range from 3 am – 9 pm
4. Sleeves up in the spring/summer is one of the best times to gawk at your husband.
5. Anytime they put on dress blues is a great time to gawk at your husband.
6. They like to go incognito in public. But their vehicles are a whole different story.
7. You get an inside look at how much they do, how many people don’t appreciate what they do and wish they could get paid overtime.
8. Deployment work ups seem to last longer than the actual deployment.
9. When it comes to uniforms, they will take longer than you to get ready. Uniform is everything. Keep buttons, a lint roller, a tissue and ruler in your purse!
10. The e’spirit de corps is amazing to see. Especially when they gather together in their dress blues.
Happy Birthday Marines. Thank you for all you do, everything you miss when you are gone and for volunteering to protect the country.
I am active in many online groups from Facebook to Baby center. One thing I notice are many wives with bump on a log husbands.
These women are usually moms of young children who find they have to do everything and their husbands work. I’m not down playing work but everyone should contribute to the home.
Think about single people. They work, they cook and they clean. It isn’t rocket science. The great thing about the marriage partnership is that the couple gets to split these tasks.
If you find that you need a little more contribution from your bump on a log, here are a few things you can try.
1. Relinquish control. If you are a total home manager, deliberate tasks. It may be finances or you may let them know they need to take over another area.
2. Remind them you are the wife and not the mother. Assert yourself and tell them you are not the dirty sock picker upper. If they want something washed they can put it in the hamper.
3. Set the standard. Don’t be a hypocrite and nag them about doing certain tasks when you aren’t getting yours done.
4. Show them a video of a symbiotic relationship. The bird is much smaller than the hippo but it still impacts the hippos life.
I write this know that in exactly one week, I will no longer be solely a housewife.
My entire world was rocked about 5 weeks ago when my husband called and told me that he might be out of the Corps in 2 weeks. I panicked, I freaked out, I was stressed, I prayed, I cried, and then I gave it to God.
My life now, well I’m no longer a military spouse. I did a super last minute cross country move. I’m due in 3 weeks and I haven’t registered at my new hospital yet. Yea. Life has been crazy. The most dramatic change has been job hunting and deciding to work while my husband figures out what to do next. We have a plan, but time is moving a little slow. We came to the mutual decision that it would be best for me to seek employment and I start next week.
A few weeks ago I talked about being a working housewife by choice. I now will become one out of necessity. However, I will still
- do things with the kids
- manage finances (it really is so much fun)
- go grocery shopping
- decorate the house
- finish my masters
I enjoy my wifely duties. We have had this system in place for a while now, so I don’t really want to change it if I don’t have too.
With that being said, I still plan on maintaining this blog. Heck I will be super phenomenal juggling all of the above. This time I won’t let the little things stress me. I know this life with a newborn will be crazy but I am kinda looking forward to the change.
Flash forward a few weeks and I have been working, but not doing as much as I originally planned. My husband helps out a lot but I am still happy with the work life balance.
I don’t dread work and I enjoy my time at home. I make the most from what I have and am fully content.
Ps- baby comes tomorrow!
I recently took a very long road trip from the Carolinas to Texas. I also took this trip with my 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old. I also took this trip in two cars with my husband, and I also was very much 30 weeks pregnant.
The last time I travelled with children, I was taking a series of flights with Thing 1 and Thing 2 and I made a pact with myself to never do that again. Pretty much anything travel related while pregnant sucks and this trip did nothing but reinforce the theory.
But this post isn’t about my knocked up self. It is about where you lay your head after all the hours in the air or on the road. I do consider myself a frugalista, but hotels are not something to scrimp at. If you are traveling with small people, expect the following
-frequent potty breaks
-inconvenient hunger fits
-random breaking into luggage and making messes
-brother touched me fits
-fits just because
-kicking, yelling, and screaming
Once you survive all of this, it is essential to have a good nights sleep to be able to make it through the next day. On our recent road trip, I used my sister as a travel agent while I was driving down I-10 and she found an amazing hotel for us to stay.
We stayed at Homewood Suites and for our family, it was a perfect fit.
Since we had been on the road all morning and afternoon, we decided to call it a night early and stopped around 5. (We had a kid getting into glue in the back seat issue). When we arrived at the hotel, they had just started the managers special dinner which was a pasta, bread, veggies, salad, beer, wine and juice bar. This was all included in the price! Instead of having to lug the kids back onto the road to grab dinner, we were able to dine in the hotel. The rest of the night was spent lounging in the suite, taking steaming hot refreshing showers, homework, and watching tv. The hotel provided a crib and the kids were able to go to sleep early in the bedroom with the door closed. My husband was able to watch tv and I did some homework without any interruptions.
But honestly, sometimes it is worth it to pay a little more when traveling with kids. By staying at the Homewood (I know Drury does this too), we were able to get dinner and breakfast at the same location. Our family of 4 usually spends $25-50 per meal. Sometimes I will split a meal with the kids but that usually leaves me still hungry and them wanting more food. Depending on the location, my boys will split a kids meal if the portion is large enough. Lately though the boys have decided to each want their own plate. This helps cut costs when we all can eat “free”.
More to come…
Have you ever made a new creation at a holiday function and prayed that it would turn out right in time for the guests to come? Have you ever had that feeling of dread when said item did not set or turn out as expected? I have. The first time I cooked for a large group everyone waited almost an hour and a half for the main dish to finish cooking. Since I made such a large portion it took much longer to cook than my normal 9×13 pan. It was really embarrassing and I learned my lesson.
The time to test food is the weeks before the event. This will provide you the security of knowing how to make the item, make sure it tastes great, and you will know how long it will take to prepare.
Think about what your Thanksgiving line up looks like and think about how much time it will take to prepare. I am hosting my family for the first time ever and will be cooking for 10. That isn’t the issue, I will be doing all of this with a few week old newborn. Hence, preparation now is essential.
1. Create a menu and test any new items.
2. Create a master shopping list and start buying items to avoid heavy expenses and long lines the days leading up to the event. (Mark these items somewhere in the pantry as For Thanksgiving Only or whatever occasion)
3. Create a time schedule of when to cook what and what you can prepare ahead. Meats are better cooked the day of, but some sides, salads and desserts are ok to prepare the night before.
By the time the event happens, you will be more than prepared so don’t stress. Using these tips, you will have the easiest holiday yet!
I could actually list a bunch of mammals that I feel like but this pregnancy has been super challenging. I am jealous of my first pregnancy self who had zero morning sickness, fatigue, crazy mood swings, or anything really. I felt 100% like me but I couldn’t see my feet while standing up. My second pregnancy self had more complications, morning sickness and I was put on “light rest” for a few weeks. It sucked, I couldn’t workout and I had Braxton Hicks contractions all the time. I also was pretty hormonal, and I really didn’t like my husband for some reason. (Sorry babe!)
This time around I had horrible morning sickness, horrible food aversions, horrible hormones (I cry all the time), horrible breakouts, random pains in places I won’t mention, way too many contractions to not be in labor and I have gained a LOT of weight. Seems like third time is not the charm! However I am carrying a girl this time, so many people just say that girls do that to you.
Everyday on Facebook it seems like someone new is pregnant and bursting with joy. I don’t want to pop your bubble, but here are some truths to pregnancy, labor, delivery, and recovery that people tend to gloss over.
-A good birth plan is nice to have- Having a baby is not a situation where you should just wing it. I winged it once, and it was a horrible experience. The second time around, I was fully informed in what I wanted and what was required. Many hospitals will give you a mock birth plan to work from and I suggest you fully research what you want and write it down! A good hospital will try to accommodate you. In a case of emergency, they might not let you do it all, but allowing you to have limited monitoring so you can walk or bounce on a ball will help the process so much.
-Can Suck- Everyone doesn’t have the Brooklyn Decker pregnancy. It was comical in the What to Expect movie, but in reality it sucks. You may have a friend that has a perfect pregnancy. If you don’t, hey welcome to the club. Don’t feel bad and try not to be jealous. Instead, drink ginger ale and eat saltiness.
-Freeze meals. How many? As many as your freezer will fit. After baby comes, cooking will be the last thing you really want to do. That and going to the grocery store with a newborn.
Labor and Delivery
-Epidural vs Natural- As soon as you have a kid the mommy wars begin and I feel like it starts with the way you birth. I will never understand the elitist mentality when it comes to bringing a child in the world. I have done both so hear me out!
- Natural- This will hurt. Hypno birth will try to make you brainwash yourself into believing that the surges (in lieu of contractions) are not that bad. If you can convince yourself of that, great. More power to you. If you can’t- I’m going to be honest, it hurts. Now your pain tolerance, position and state of mind all play a huge factor in natural birth. Also those things you can’t control like a tilted pelvis, uterus or anything different down there, will also impact the baby coming out. Laying on your back is the worst position possible, and many women will birth that way. If you choose to go natural, don’t listen to all of the naysayers. That will lead you to self doubt. Do your best and if you change your mind halfway through labor, that is ok too!
- Epidural- After hours in pain, this will be the bliss that will allow you to get one final nap in. My advice, don’t look at the tray the anesthesiologist is working from. Keep your eyes forward, focus on breathing between contractions and think about the relief coming your way. You may have pain in the injection site for a few days or weeks. I had to use a heat pack for two weeks from the epi pain. It also took my anesthesiologist more than one attempt to get it in so that probably added to the pain as well.
- You will be surprised at the amount of people that may see all your goodies. I was at a teaching hospital for Thing 1 and I feel like by the time he came out, my audience had grown from my mom, sister and nurse, to 20+ med students, nurses and the doctor. That room was packed. It was awful. I would try to close my legs and pull my gown down, but the nurse kept shoving it up. The second time around I was in the room with just my husband, midwife and two nurses. I was able to wear my own shirt and I felt like they let me keep a bit of modesty. I strongly suggest you include things like -the only people you want in the room short of an emergency, what you wear, and times you are interrupted.
Recovery in the Hospital
- PEE – As often as you can and as much as you can. After all of the IV’s you get put in, that mess needs to come out!
- General soreness down there – Sometimes it hurts. The nurses will bring you ice packs and witch hazel for a reason. Use it and if they give you some pain pills, you may want to take them. However, every birth is different. One kid I had the pain, the other I didn’t. You never know.
- Look in the mirror- People may think you are narcissistic, but you will want to look back at your baby pictures and not cringe. You don’t have to bust out a full makeover, but you might need to brush your hair, dry off sweat, fix your mascara, or add a little color to your mouth.
- You may waddle after giving birth. You thought you waddled in month 9 but just wait my friend!
- Your loving nurses will turn evil when pressing on your stomach to “help” or “check” that your uterus is going down. It hurts. I think a tear might have popped out on occasion.
- You may need space. After pushing a little person out of your body, showing your goodies to the world, getting poked, prodded, checked, a catheter, and moved into your recovery room, you may feel overwhelmed. You just went through a lot. Don’t be afraid to ask everyone to give you a few minutes. You might want to sleep, you might want to watch your little precious sleeping angel, you might want to update your newsfeed. Who knows, but don’t be afraid to take a minute for yourself. You just did a selfless act giving birth. Enjoy these moments of peace and quiet.
- Compress- I really wish I would have done this with Thing 1, but compressing helps pull you back in. Once the baby is out, you still have a belly that will rival a 5 month pregnant lady. The only difference is, your stomach is empty. You can press and mush it around and it will bounce and roll like flubber! Use a compression garment or even an ace bandage to bring everything back together. Plus it will boost your self esteem to look like you again, plus you will have a cute little baby as arm candy!
- Remember all those periods that you missed the past year? Yea. They all decided to come out at once and yea…overnight super maxi with wings will be your best friend with a few weeks. Those and the peri bottle.
-Never trust the celebrity recovery magazines. They have personal chefs, trainers, special lighting, nannies and best of all Photoshop! Don’t believe that they really look like that.
-You will be exhausted! Everyone will advise you to sleep when the baby sleeps, but that isn’t possible sometimes. If you can, I suggest you go on ahead and do it. I personally have a coffee/kickstart addiction after having the kids.
-Freaking sucks in the first month! I’m not trying to deter you, nursing is a wonderful thing, but people forget to tell you it hurts a lot in the beginning. I’m talking toes curling, worse than the contraction feeling, somebody knock me out pain. Your baby is learning how to latch, your milk makers are getting used constantly and there is nothing you can do but persevere. No one told me how bad it was at first, so when it was difficult, I felt like a failure and wanted to quit.
-Lanolin will be your best friend! You will only need it for the first few weeks or months and it is great for keeping the girls from getting chapped, cracked, and it soothes.
-It might be hard to do. If your child has jaundice or has to eat frequently for some reason, it might be exhausting
-Is awesome after the first month!- You won’t have to deal with all the washing of the little annoying parts that make up bottles, or try to make and heat a bottle at 3am when you are past zombie mom tired. You can put the kid on the boob and keep moving.
But this is just the beginning! I’ll add more later! Happy pregnancy!
Do you have any tips or things you found out about that surprised you during the baby process?